Of which we’ve never known.

I can only say that I came to West Virginia with so much on my mind, and yet I leave with issues both newly resolved and newly created that make my other thoughts seem trivial in comparison. Sometimes I wish all my concerns were trivial. I can’t imagine what life would be like in that case. I can almost bring myself to tears contemplating that desire. I’m not sure why.

push away

i will stay steady on, on the road i’m on now
i will push away the rain inside and outside
i will never give up knowing what i know
but someday i will fall and someday i will fail

i can avoid telling the tale to save my own soul
i can keep the dirt swept tight in my mind
i can mould your goal to see what you want to see
and you’ll never know the difference

i should find peace soon in one way or another
i should let this all fall from my mind
i should know better than to be here again
but here i am and i’ll do the best i can

even still

you are my muse, perhaps my raison d’être
you trigger emotions i dare try to hide
i fear nobody else will ever understand you
i wonder if it is meant to be that way

i have never cared much for our human confines
i have tended to edge bleed more than some
you even still cause be to break my own borders
you have only to smile or shed a tear and i give

i know my life and i know of my options
you seem to have accepted this for now
i wish i could find some way to meld things so perfect
you deserve so much more than i ever could give

we make our choices in life
we choose our own battles
your life is here for now
mine is where it always has been

Anyway. So now I return to a city I live in, in spite of myself. There is one thing that keeps me there. I hope he knows I love him.